Monday, November 1, 2009

By scooter

Karzai won the election fairly, considering he was the only candidate.

KABUL – It seems that one country in the Middle East has discovered a method to having free and fair elections. This method was practiced in Afghanistan, and it basically involved one candidate withdrawing and leaving the election with only one credible candidate. The Blue House Lives senior political correspondent, Jeff L. Horner, stated, “The one candidate system works. In Afghanistan, one candidate, Abdullah Abdullah, stated simply that the upcoming runoff elections would not be fair. So he pulled out. This move guaranteed a fair election.”

Early on Monday, incumbent President Hamid Karzai was declared the landslide winner without even having a formal voting process. Afghanistan was originally going to have a runoff election after their first election was marred by fraud and corruption. It seems Abdullah Abdullah wanted the runoff to be fairer, so he withdrew from contention.

“I believe an election with only one credible candidate is the way to go,” one The Blue House Lives freshman Middle East correspondent said. “It worked for the United States in 1789, 1792 and 1820. If only one person runs, the voting process goes through without a snag.”

Congratulations poured in from across the world to Karzai, but there are many who believe the world may also be commending the Afghan election method. “I think the U.N. is wholly impressed,” The Blue House Lives somewhat sober foreign correspondent said. “Just when it seemed that there may never be a fair election in the Middle East, Afghanistan goes and shocks the world. It didn’t even require a vote. This day marks an impressive victory for Afghan republicanism.”

Now Karzai can move from the grueling campaign trail and assess the problems his country faces. In fact, upon further investigation, he may have entered his second term with the most troubled country on the planet. “It is no wonder Abdullah Abdullah withdrew,” one pundit said. “If there’s a hell on earth, it is definitely Afghanistan.” It appears, however, that even hell on earth can have a fair and just election.