Sunday, December 6, 2009

By scooter

Raptors were suspicious of Obama's speech omission.

WEST POINT, NY - In a speech that was, according to the ubiquitous media, strategically missing the word “win,” President Obama declared the deployment of thirty thousand additional American soldiers to Afghanistan. This decision flies in the face of the fact that Obama claimed the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize merely a month ago. The missing word in his speech, according to many, amplifies the fact that Obama does not endorse peace at all. Yet, it was discovered only recently that there was a more important word omitted from Obama’s speech: Dinosaurs.

Considering the possibility of dinosaur fossils within the mountainous regions of Afghanistan, it is only appropriate that Obama mention them in his speech. “I think this is a huge injustice to dinosaurs,” Jeff L. Horner, The Blue House Lives’s chief Afghan correspondent. “Whether we win the war or not, we do not know what to do with any fossils discovered by our soldiers.”

The Blue House Lives attempted to contact the White House directly but received no response. Hamid Karzai, Afghanistan’s recently reelected President, has also neglected to mention dinosaurs in any of his victory speeches. “There is huge gap between politics and dinosaurs in our world,” The Blue House Lives’s senior political correspondent stated. “It is this gap that needs to be closed in a hurry.”

The role that dinosaur fossils will play in the United States’ war strategy remains a clouded topic. As thirty thousand troops prepare to repel the Taliban, upwards of thirty dinosaur bones could be resting beneath the sun-stained sand of Afghanistan. It is those fossils in which The Blue House Lives takes a concerted interest.