Wednesday, December 16, 2009

By scooter

CNN amazing investigative journalists uncovered what could be the story of the year (circled).

CNN.COM – The Cable News Network (CNN) has always been a favorite watch in The Blue House. Every morning, Scooter wakes and loads up their website, among others, to silence his early craving for news. Yet, as celebrity scandal and misbehavior change the way humans operate daily, the news networks, even CNN, have become much like a sewing circle. Playground gossip rules the day. On December 15, 2009, CNN may have hit a new low.

On the front page of their website, it was reported that “Chris Brown Kills Twitter Account”. Once again, this headline was on the front page; not the entertainment page or the arts (just kidding) page. It is interesting to consider the kingly executive who oversees the website storming into a meeting, disturbing everyone and asking, “Where’s my Chris Brown Twitter story? I need it for the front page.” This scenario is probably not how it played out, but scenes like this one must play out in some “serious” news publications’ offices.

So what does this all mean for CNN? Absolutely nothing. The glorious news network will continue to get ratings and hits and continue to churn out stories this week about Tiger Woods’s mistresses, how many there are and what brand of condom (if any) he used with them. The uninspired zombies back home on their couches will cheer these stories, and CNN will be awarded another prestigious journalism award.

Granted, Anderson Cooper will continue to be shown with a mini-HD camera capturing images of genocide in Africa and exploitation in China, but all of the attention will eventually go back to celebrity gossip. Blankly-staring Americans must know which guy Jennifer Aniston is going to be dumped by this week and whether or not Jon and Kate will finally work things out in a fight to the death or whether or not Chris Brown will reopen his Twitter account to the hungry public.

These stories, my friends, are true journalism, plain and simple. We all know it, and sadly, we still follow it. So, in closing, the following Oscar Wilde quote will sum up everything: “The public has an insatiable curiosity to know everything. Except for what is worth knowing. Journalism, conscious of this, and having tradesman-like habits, supplies them their demands.”

By the way, did everyone hear that Chris Brown deleted his Twitter account?