Man-Man shows everyone how to wrap up and haul the Christmas tree.

Following the holiday season, it is only customary for residents of The Blue House to humbly take down the Christmas decorations and return The House to its normal state. Although the removal of the decorations is socially acceptable thing to do, it is a melancholy time for everyone involved. Yet, when Man-Man is behind the wheel of any operation, things are bound to get interesting.

Considering that he is the undisputed royal highness of removing any holiday flourish, it should therefore be him that displays the sacred art to everyone else. Therefore, a short video was produced that exemplifies his revolutionary method to toting the Christmas tree from one side of The House to another.

“I was there,” stated Scooter, longtime resident and friend. “His methods are a bit unorthodox, but I believe that we all learned something that day. We learned that there is no definitive way of doing something when it comes to Man-Man. Every time the expected procedure is altered drastically, and the results are definitely worth seeing.”

It must be noted that the tree took severe beating this season. It was knocked over twice, initially by Caudle and then by Scooter. The ornaments were shattered and shards coated the carpet of the East Wing. There are many who speculate that The Blue House Tree has had its run. Its fate will definitely be decided next year.

Hopefully, the following video will enchant the nation and educate everyone in a new way of holiday tree removal. Here is the aforementioned video:

Whittler's Meadow promises a more pleasurable way to drop a Crompton.

Whittler’s Meadow recently launched a campaign to provide a much-needed product to the world. That product is the comprehensive Bathroom Entertainment Center. While many have tried similar products in the past, Whittler’s Meadow feels that it has the most practical design.

One satisfied customer reported, “I’ve never had such an invigorating experience in the loo. I think it even made my poo smell better.” With regard to this last statement, Jeff L. Horner, renowned Whittler’s Meadow contributor, said, “Nope. It’s not true. Andre 3000 told us all that roses still smell like poo poo poo.”

It is affirmative, however, that the Bathroom Entertainment Center enhances even the most mundane of water-closet visits. Critics have spoken. In fact, one actually did voice his opinion. He stated, “Whittler’s Meadow actually makes me want to pull down my trouser, slam my undies to the floor, and let loose the fury from below.”

Here is the notable advertisement that Whittler’s Meadow aired at the Double-Decker Commercial Festival:

I like you BHL boys...

Anyone who knows the BHL staff should recognize the amount of surprise we just encountered. As usual Scooter and I were watching “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson,” when he referenced me and mentioned Scooter. We had no idea he was a fan. Coming soon we hope for an outright admission from Mr. Ferguson and a response on his show about our email and page. We will be posting the video that references us as well.

Will he sit down with us for an interview or would he simply have us on his show? It would be a guaranteed Fallon killer. (oh “Terrible Fallon”) He may actually start a new trend if he did. The BHL staff understands that the only thing keeping us from such an experience is our scheduling…..

(Due to some technical difficulties and scheduling conflicts the video we had planned to show is incomplete. We have thus provided the original video here. Our apologies to Mr. Ferguson and the readers.  – Staff)

Where has Ferguson been hiding that Elephant in the room?

It should be noted that while we are fans of his show, this will not impede our motives, actions, and style. (that isn’t necessarily true – caudle)

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P.S.  We voted for the Camel!

To View Mr. Ferguson’s Awesomeness:

http://www.cbs.com/late_late_show/

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-These are copies of the emails we sent to Mr. Ferguson.

Name: Scooter Caudle

Email: thebluehouse@bluehouselives.com

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1.

I/we were planning to vote “no” for your snake mug. However, after we receive our mugs from being on the show, we will be more than happy to vote “yes”. When would you be able to sit down for our interview?

P.S. your jokes are good…..sometimes

and had we got in on the voting ours would have been # 191.

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2.

­Mr. Ferguson
Tonight, Scooter and i were talking about how well you conduct your show. We were just mentioning how you ignore the person who tells you when its time to go to commercial, and how much we enjoyed it. Then randomly cbs said “fuck you craig” and cut to commercial. About a minute later you were back and had magically jumped from behind the desk to the seat beside your guest. what the hell…..
oh…
P.S. have you noticed that Oprah is getting fat again?

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Oh...Bones...you are so awesome.....

Recently, The Blue House Lives chief video investigator Man-Man discovered a long lost video starring House legend Bones. The video contains, perhaps, the greatest example of Bones’s oratorical skill as he curses those who do him wrong. In fact, one presidential speechwriter commented after a screening of the video, “I wish I could put words like that on paper. The nation thinks President Obama is a good orator. They obviously have never listened to Bones.”

In the video, Bones is consistently harassed by street marauders in the form of supposed friends. The skill in which he scorns them is evident from the beginning. “The poetry that comes from his mouth,” says one viewer, “could peacefully put me to sleep at night. It’s magical.”

Here is the aforementioned video in its entirety. The video’s quality, however, had degraded badly over the years, but Whittler’s Meadow of Knoxville recently took the time to fully restore it. So, everyone sit back and open your eyes, ears, and minds and allow Bones to tour you through his intellectual “punk show”. Bones, we salute you.

Related Stories:
July 20, 2009 – A Sit-Down with Bones

The Turkhold 1 orbits the Earth. The world was shocked by its deployment.

The Blue House has finally entered the final frontier. This week, unbeknownst to the entire planet, The Blue House launched its first satellite. The satellite, titled the Turkhold 1, entered Earth orbit without alerting any major nation. It was only within the past few hours that the details of the launch became known to civilization. The Blue House Lives senior space correspondent reported, “It seems that there has been one small step for the House, one giant leap for Housekind. How the Turkhold escaped detection, no one will ever know, but it’s up there. We can prove that now.”

Jeff L. Horner, a Blue House resident, explained, “We needed a video shot from space, so we built a satellite. Michael (C. Fox) had plenty of left over car parts.” The video shot from space that Horner refers to is a satellite zoom from the heavens to The Blue House. The image is meant to create a cinematic introduction for The Blue House Lives’s breaking news segments. “We had other options,” Horner elaborated, “but a satellite camera proved the most auspicious.” The introduction video is now available, and it, as one NASA engineer relates, looks “astonishing.”

President Obama and the government of the United States have delivered no response on the discovery, and NASA is keeping their lips sealed. It is unknown whether world governments consider the Turkhold a threat or not. As of yet, there is not a contingency plan that blasts an unregistered satellite from orbit.

The Frank 1 was reportedly launched from The Blue House's backyard.

Details are only now emerging, but it appears that the satellite was launched on a rocket, titled the Frank 1, from the Blue House’s backyard. The rocket swiftly leapt into Earth orbit and deployed its cargo. Since then, the satellite has settled into a steady orbit and filmed the breaking news introduction. “This is a big deal for us,” Horner said. “The fact that this is possible shows how much we have grown, not just as a house, but as a people as well.”

Stargazers have taken to the skies to observe the object, and many astronomers have exclaimed their excitement. “It may be the most advanced satellite ever launched,” one expert stated, “or it could be just a camera attached to a hunk of metal. What they do with it will be the big test.”

Until then, however, all we have to judge its merit is the breaking news introduction, which is stunning.

Here it is as it appeared before a piece entitled “Dreams Drown as Pool Drains”:

For now, all one can do is wait and see what happens next. One thing is for sure, however: the planet should not underestimate The Blue House.

The Pool's existence was marked by felicity.

Last night, The Blue House Pool was drained in preparation for the “Blonde and Gone” benefit tomorrow night. While cameras were not allowed for the early ceremonies such as the slideshow and the flying of the doves, The Blue House Lives was granted access to the actual draining. What was witnessed was nothing short of doleful. Observers of the ceremony described it as “heartbreaking” and “tear-jerking.” Everyone should take time this weekend and observe a moment of silence in memory of The Pool.

Here is The Blue House Lives’s coverage of the event (a Peabody Award is definitely on the way):

Related Stories:

July 30, 2009 – Melancholy Expected as Pool Drains
July 21, 2009 – One Final Farewell, Miss Bailey

Whittler's Meadow of Knoxville promises randomness on video.

A new cinematic preview was released today that has all the world talking. Strangely enough, however, it did not come from Comic Con. It came from the up-and-coming Whittler’s Meadow of Knoxville, the unpredictable film company oversaw by M.C. Fox, II. The preview itself seems to lay out Whittler’s Meadow’s agenda: randomness to the extreme. The video displays what appears to be a human file cabinet riding a tractor. This exhibition will no doubt ruffle some feathers, and Whittler’s Meadow promises that the best is on the way. This promise is made at the end of the preview when two words define the future: Coming Soon.

The Blue House Lives has attained a copy of the video, which it presents here. The video, along with any other Whittler’s Meadow production, can be found in the Videos section of this site. Enjoy!

A thief strikes and takes cow juice from the refrigerator.

Earlier, a thief struck The Blue House refrigerator and stole a jug of milk. The Blue House Lives is involved in an ongoing investigation to discover the culprit behind this act. We have discovered a video that sheds an enormous amount of light on the crime.

We hope that eventually the milk will be recovered and the criminal caught. The Blue House Lives senior kitchen correspondent relates, “The Blue House is in a frenzy over the milk theft. They fear that their calcium levels could reach dangerous depths if it is not found soon.”

Here is the video that has surfaced regarding the crime. Forensic experts are baffled by this, as it seems to have been produced during a bygone era. Enjoy.

The unthinkable was found inside of the router.

The Blue House Lives has been involved in an ongoing investigation to determine the source of the Blue House’s internet connection difficulties. It was only recently, however, that our investigation turned up some hard evidence. What we found is heinous, ghastly, and, most of all, lascivious. The Blue House Lives chief investigative reporter Man-Man has submitted this video as a summary of the investigation. Viewer discretion is advised.

NOTE: After further investigation, it was uncovered that the bearded man in the scene is our BUS LINE, and the man in the suit is our DATA.