Tag Archive

Tennessee’s Water Worse than Washington’s Air

By Nickle

TENNESSEE – Over 500 Coca-cola employees have gone on strike since August 28th. One employee said they had been overworked to compensate for the mass import of the product to Tennessee. Most Tennesseans prefer to drink Coke or Mountain Dew because their water is impotable to humans. Unfortunately for The Volunteer State, the Appalachian... »

Air Quality in Hell Better than in Washington

By Scooter

SEATTLE, Wash. – A recent report indicated that the air quality in Washington State is far worse than any other state. The air is so bad, in fact, that many researchers have declared that the air is better in Hell than in the Evergreen State. Why the air is so bad is actually not... »

Support for Washington Grows

By Nickle

SEATTLE – The isolation of Washington State by a vast wall has stirred up a lot of controversy, extending beyond just the politics of the matter. The national Congress’s decision to build a wall surrounding the border of the state has proven to be a highly disputed topic in the West. The Federal government... »

Lawmakers Call for Wall around Washington State

By Scooter

OLYMPIA, WA – Following Arizona’s strict immigration legislation, some states were expected to follow suit and pass legislation of their own. Yet, no one expected what the national Congress called for yesterday: an impenetrable wall around the state of Washington. Backlash was expected, and it came when state lawmakers gathered in Olympia yesterday to... »

Washington Hires New Santa

By Nickle

SEATTLE – At a conference held in Seattle, Washington, an elite group of Northwest representatives congregated over the issue of Santa Claus’s refusal to deliver to the State of Washington. Officials agree that they don’t want a biased Santa invading their home states, so the traditional Santa Claus has been banned from all over... »

Whirlpool Arrives at Blue House

By Nickle

THE KITCHEN – A new fragrance was detected in the air of The Blue House Kitchen. The smell was almost indistinguishable, but still determined as the scent, of a new dishwasher.  The Whirlpool’s arrival was greeted by Blue House members with much anticipation and relief. Its delayed homecoming was an inconvenience shared by all... »

Washington Declared Unfit for Santa

By Scooter

WASHINGTON STATE – In a surprising twist to the 2009 holiday season, the North Pole issued a statement declaring the State of Washington unsuitable for Santa Claus. The central reason: a complete lack of well-behaved children. A chief spokesman for Santa said, “After last year’s pointless flight over Washington, we have wholly decided to... »

Snowfall Confuses Knoxville

By Nickle

KNOXVILLE – It is what every kid dreams for in the whimsical month of December: snow. Lots and lots of snow. Today, Knoxvillian children everywhere got their wish, as bleach white snow trickled down to cover Mom and Dad’s windshield early this morning. Blue House members Leelee, Scooter, and Nichole were among the first... »

College Football: Week 13

By Scooter

Sadly, it is finally upon us: The final full weekend of college football. While this fact may sadden many, it is helpful to look to the promise of championships and bowls games. Going into the final week, the pick-‘em is completely up for grabs. The Striker Report still holds a small lead, and The... »

Jonas Brothers Buy Space Needle

By Scooter

SEATTLE – Early this week, Seattleites welcomed Paul, Nick and Joseph Jonas to their new home, the Space Needle. Also revealed was the fact that a deal had been in the works for several weeks securing Seattle’s most precious monument for its favorite band. “We are a very proud city,” Mayor Greg Nickels stated... »

Hampton at the Movies

This week, Hampton reviews the Brit hit Hot Fuzz, directed by Edgar Wright. Read More

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Wednesday, Sept. 1, 2010
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Boulder 15 F
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Boulder wins series 4-1.
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