Fox's incessant hiring of phantom drivers has Forza enthusiasts scratching their heads.

EAST WING- Odd things have occurred at The Blue House before, but phantom racing hasn’t been one of them until recently. This ghostly activity began when East Wing dweller M.C Fox joined Forza Motorsport racing.

Fox has frequented the game on a regular basis, and even dropped in on his lunch breaks to race and increase his credits. But when Fox leaves to return to his five-day-a-week duties, the game continues without his attendance.

This eerie occurrence has been seen on multiple occasions by various Blue House members, including Jeff L. Horner, who has heard racing noises in the dead of night. “I will wake up to get water, and hear the screeching of drifting cars, and I become stunned with fear. I try to drown out the noises but it follows me into my dreams. Kind of like a Freddy Krueger effect.”

Others have witnessed the ghost racing in action as well, so a unanimous decision to hire an expert was made. Enter Brandon Strike, a.k.a Striker, Ghost Hunter Specialist. Striker has known Fox for years, so he has a sense of his sly style. He’s also been a dedicated Ghost Hunters viewer since its premier in 2004 on the Syfy Channel.

“I believe that the entity that Fox called upon uses electromagnetism from the game as its energy source” read the Striker Report on the paranormal activity. “This case is trickier than others since even digital infrared cameras cannot capture it. It seems to thrive in the game itself and not in an external environment.” The Report concluded that no actual phantom driver existed outside the realm of the game.

After the reading, oppositional Forza racer Dhizzy raised allegations that Fox cheating on his races. When confronted with the speculations, Fox’s replied that “If the other drivers knew how to work the system, they’d be as good as me. They’re all just idiots, though.”

Fox has turned the East Wing into a Forza universe.

Fox uses a specially ordered steering wheel, clutch and accelerator pedal to race during select events. The rest of the time he uses the standard Xbox controller like other racers.

When further research was conducted, the hired driver feature resulted in earning only half the money and zero credits for that race. With cash winnings, a driver can purchase other vehicles to race with. The credits propel the drivers to higher levels. Fox has maxed out at level 50 for his driving skills. His car, the Mazda-3, which he also drives outside of the game, sits at a level 5.

When a driver drifts around a curve on the track, he can earn more credits. If the driver crashes or spins out of control, that action can be rewound and reattempted an infinite amount of times.

Fox's real Mazda 3 and his Forza Mazda 3 seem to blur the lines of reality.

The Hired Driver seems to have the advantage over manual racing. Hired drivers always win 1^st place, even though the winnings are cut in half, but if one were to over use the feature, the money adds up to a hefty amount and a lot more cars, as Fox displays in his impressive collection of customized vehicles, like the Jurassic Park and ATHF.

Striker declared the investigation to be ongoing and will continue his research he ceases playing FIFA World Cup, also on the Xbox 360.

Many students left vulgar messages on Pellissippi's screensavers.

THE HOUSE – In exhausting efforts to find a new computer tech, Blue House recruiters have compiled a list of potential replacements for M.C Fox’s old position. “Well, our first consideration for the job is obviously The Winner of the World, but getting him isn’t going to be a piece of cake,” recruiter Jeff L. Horner commented at a press conference. “We are really cutting it close here,” fellow recruiter Nichole stated. “Classes start soon and no one wants to take on the task of installing all those computers in such short time.”

Few observers have received the opportunity to peer into Fox’s work place. His office has been described as “the Wonka Chocolate Factory of computers.” Fox is said to have a wall of monitors surrounding his desk and little G.I Joes guarding all his equipment. Other techs at Pellissippi State say that Fox is the only man capable of tackling the work load.

Jeff L. Horner warns that “if The Winner declines our offer, then our other options would be Dhizzy or Cory Mac. Fox is nearly irreplaceable, so our new tech has to be above average, at least.” As Fox’s departure nears, more and more anti-Fox propaganda can be seen throughout Pellissippi’s campus. Computers at the school are widely sporting anti-Fox screen savers. It is clear that Fox has burned his bridges here in Tennessee. We can only hope that The Blue House recruiters can find a new computer tech in time.

Scooter argues that a common oar is taller than Nichole.

THE BLUE HOUSE – A continuous question has arose in The Blue House: Is Nichole that short or are The Blue House members just that tall? Speculation has occurred since her arrival and measurements have confirmed her stature to be on the shorter end of the bell curve. This is a fact, indeed. But her argument, as always, reverts back to Washington standards.

According to the “Great” Northwest correspondent, her claim is that “people from the NW have a shorter average for height. Yeah, I’m short, that’s a given.” Even Blue House resident Michael C. Fox was quoted as saying “I think we’re all just tall. She’s woman-tall, women are suppose to be short…” Studies on the WA population trends do seem to show an increase in Asian heritage, as oppose to TN constituencies. And Asian people, as we all have witnessed, are generally petite and small built.

Nichole is declaring that her size is skewed due to her background and the difference in height averages. Blue House scientists have been measuring around the clock, trying to determine the answer to this long-standing debate within The House. The findings have shown that Blue House height averages at close to 5”11, while Nichole stands at a whopping 4”10 approximately.  Within WA boundaries, the numbers drop to 5”9 for males and 5”2 for females. So, is Nichole short or are Blue House residents all just tall?

To further support the Nichole-isn’t-just-short argument, architectural evidence has been observed all throughout The Blue House. Cabinet doors, for example, are mounted in The House at a level where if a person were to exceed 5 feet, one might, and has, been smacked in the face by a swinging cabinet door at high velocity. Coincidence? Nichole thinks not.

As expected, Blue House members Scooter and Dhizzy disagree. For their closing statements on the matter, Scooter exclaims that “if Nichole is normal height, then how come she can’t see out the windshield of a normal car?” While Dhizzy smugly closes his statement explaining, “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m the perfect height.”

Perhaps, The Blue House will remain torn (like Natalie Imbruglia) regarding the subject at hand. Nichole and Michael C. Fox have decided to continue their research on the topic, while Scooter and Dhizzy eat Golden Oreos and drink milk, hoping to gain more height on the matter. Looks like the debate will continue to rage on throughout The House.

The Pool's existence was marked by felicity.

Last night, The Blue House Pool was drained in preparation for the “Blonde and Gone” benefit tomorrow night. While cameras were not allowed for the early ceremonies such as the slideshow and the flying of the doves, The Blue House Lives was granted access to the actual draining. What was witnessed was nothing short of doleful. Observers of the ceremony described it as “heartbreaking” and “tear-jerking.” Everyone should take time this weekend and observe a moment of silence in memory of The Pool.

Here is The Blue House Lives’s coverage of the event (a Peabody Award is definitely on the way):

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