Ninja waves to his supporters following a close victory on Tuesday.

THE BLUE HOUSE – After the dust settled following a wild voting crunch on Tuesday, Ninja emerged as The Blue House’s Kitty of the Year by winning The Kitty Konflict poll in a close contest. He defeated his rival Lionelle by 8 percent of the vote, 53 to 47. The poll’s close came as a record 484 votes were cast overall. Ninja captured 258 of those votes to Lionelle’s 226.

Many experts attribute Ninja’s victory to his recent success in the ongoing Konflict between the two cats. After he won the Third Battle of The Porch, sources state that he immediately went on the campaign trail attempting to win over the vote of a nation. Lionelle, however, came on much stronger than experts speculated. This upsurge may be due to the Ninja’s overexposure in the media. Whatever the case and considering the closeness of this vote, it is apparent that the nation remains divided over these two cats.

The controversy, however, has only begun. Team Lionelle already claims that the poll was wrought with fraud and corruption. Team Ninja claims that his victory should have been more of a landslide. Michael Fox and Dhizzy have already sparred with comments on a recent Blue House Lives article. With the intensity of the final tally at noon on Tuesday, experts suggest that many votes may have been discarded in the frenzy. “I believe overall,” said Jeff L. Horner, The Blue House Lives Year End Awards Chairman, “that the vote was fairly accurate. It definitely came down to the wire, but I think Ninja was the official winner.”

Officials close to the election have yet to announce the need for a recount. It will not be until the votes are officially totaled and announced, however, that Ninja becomes the authentic victor. This announcement will be part of the 2009 Blue House Lives Year End Awards later in December. Barring a strange twist of fate, however, it appears Ninja has once against conquered his nemesis, Lionelle.

Fox's victory ($34.53) has many furrowing their brows.

INGLES, MERCHANTS DRIVE – While the mainstream media provided extensive coverage of the ongoing elections in Afghanistan, the focus of most people’s attention was diverted by a much more intriguing contest. For centuries now, Michael C. Fox and Jeff L. Horner have gathered their loose change for an inevitable trek to the nearest Coinstar. This competition attracts considerable monthly attention. This month’s installment, however, has many in an uproar.

Normally, when the planet’s physics are in natural order, Horner prevails over Fox at the Coinstar machine. Yet, this month Fox celebrated victory. This victory immediately erupted in a firestorm of allegations, ranging from fraud to package packing. Jeff L. Horner said, “I definitely think something went awry here. And Fox definitely stuffs his pants.”

Fox, whose total was $34.53 compared to Horner’s $28.14, completely denies these accusations. “What you see is what you get,” he stated shortly after the controversy arose. Yet, those close to the event are not so sure. “When I originally saw the coins before the journey to Coinstar,” one observer said, “it appeared that Horner easily had more.”

Horner uses a plastic cup, while Fox totes a Crown Royal bag.

Coinstar rules clearly outline the rules regarding coin storage, and some believe that this rule is the main contributor to the controversy. The rules state that Horner must always carry his coins in a blue plastic cup while Fox must tote his in a Crown Royal bag. One loose change expert said, “It’s easy to think there are more coins in the cup than in the bag. It’s mostly an optical illusion like Chris Angel or something. It is very possible that Fox actually had more coins. Horner just appeared to have more.”

An investigation has opened to fully chronicle the secret goings-on of this most recent contest. As of yet, though, the investigation has failed to provide sufficient evidence to incriminate Mr. Fox. There are those, however, who believe that the investigation is inherently flawed.

“I’m wholly convinced,” Striker, who was extremely close to the proceedings, said, “that Fox robbed my car of change before the pilgrimage to Coinstar. In fact, I think he grabbed a handful from Jeff’s car as well.” Horner has yet to accuse Fox of stealing from his vehicle, but he is not denying the possibility. “Whether he pilfered change from my car, I am unsure,” he said. “Yet, I still believe that this investigation will turn something up. That I can promise.”

Despite the allegations, experts say that this competition will continue.

For now, however, Fox quietly celebrates his victory. He was observed recently eating a lavish dinner with his parents, and while they were unavailable for comment, it was clear that his parents showered him with adulation.

Horner, though, simply presses on and awaits the results of the investigation. The Blue House Lives senior Coinstar correspondent related, “This may never end. Next month, these two gladiators will be back at that machine battling for coinage control.” The Blue House Lives will tirelessly follow the investigation and present any breaks in the story to our loyal readers.

The presence of this bag sparked controversy.

Local authorities had their interests peaked in the direction of The Blue House this week when an conspicuous trash bag was placed outside for pickup. “The bag resembled no trash bag I ever seen,” one of the trash collectors stated. The bag was much larger than an ordinary bag and appeared to many on the scene as a body bag. This caused a huge stir as authorities swarmed the area and set up a full investigation at the house. Jeff L. Horner, a resident, approached one of the officers and declared, “Robert Gates isn’t here. So, could you please leave?” This ignited a firestorm as the policemen barged into the house to search for other body bags or anything incriminating.

“They didn’t even check the bag that started this whole thing,” one eyewitness said. It was true. It all the confusion, the authorities did not check the bag that had brought them upon the scene. Instead, they merely assumed that wrongdoing was in the air, and they were the bloodhounds sent my God (or in this case, their commander).

While the officers raided the house, a trash collector lifted the bag only to find that there was not a body inside, but a noisy collage of beer bottles and cans. “Those cops were just looking for something to do, I think,” the trash collector said. Yet, all the cops found were an abnormal collection of car magazines and pornography. “What did they expect?” one onlooker reported. “It’s the Blue House. They’re rough around the edges, yes, but they’re not criminals.”

The officers were stunned, however, when Michael C. Fox, the Lord of the East Wing, pulled another one of the bags out and began throwing more beer cans into it. “How much beer can one house drink?” one of the officers asked. It is widely reported that Fox’s reply was, “We haven’t figured that out yet.”

Fox demonstrates the bag's primary function.

Fortunately for the house and people who watch the news consistently, there were no arrests. No one was disorderly, and no racial fireworks exploded. Considering that there is a large benefit this weekend at the Blue House, it must be stated to all the confirmed guests who may read this (even you, Carl Winslow) that there are no dead bodies at the house. The bags are just trash bags specially designed to hold sizable amounts of beer bottles and cans.

When asked where the bags came from, Fox related, “They were specially designed by scientists.” It seems the Blue House has their hands into everything, as our investigative reporters have discovered that the bags were originally designed for NASA but were eventually deemed too technological for astronauts. So the government donated the bags to The Blue House in what many deem an experiment to test the bags capacity and flexibility. The Blue House is the only home in the world equipped with Space Bags. How many cans will the bag hold? “We are afraid to really test them,” Horner said. Fox, however, when approached with the same question, responded, “Give me time.”