Many around The House wondered whether this culinary action was an affront directed toward Nichole following the lasagna crisis from earlier in the week.

Leelee, however, dispelled these claims. “I just wanted to make brownies. The guys working on mine and Duncan’s new house installed new countertops today, and I wanted them to have a little snack. That’s what the brownies were for.”

This statement predicated a House-wide sigh of relief. “I think a war has definitely been avoided,” Jeff L. Horner, House correspondent stated. “Like I said earlier, with the Kitty Konflict going on, it is highly unlikely that this house could handle two wars at once.”

Panic erupted on Tuesday afternoon when it was discovered that Nichole and Leelee had both baked lavish lasagna dishes. The following confusion threatened to throw The House into chaos. “I didn’t know what to eat,” M.C. Fox said. “Two lasagnas is one too many.”

Experts experienced in Blue House politics predicted that a state of war was imminent. “Whether it would be declared or undeclared, the hostilities are real,” one noted expert remarked, “and war is most decidedly approaching.”

Leelee’s statement today, however, quelled the panic considerably. While Nichole has been unavailable for comment, sources close to her say that she is highly approving of the statement. “I think she’s calmed now,” one source described. “She didn’t want war any more than the rest of us.”

Nichole has showed no incentive to bake brownies of her own. “She knows that that would be a grave insult,” Jeff L. Horner said. “It would be nothing short of Pearl Harbor. Things have quieted down, and all humanity hopes it stays that way.”

“I sincerely hope not,” Jeff L. Horner, senior Kitchen correspondent stated early Wednesday. “It only seemed coincidental that the two made the same meal so close together. I don’t think it means war, though.”

Others, however, panicked and instantly became confused. One of these people was M.C. Fox, well-renowned virtuoso. “I didn’t know which lasagna to eat,” he said. “When Nichole told me that she’d made lasagna, I told her that it was stupid. Steph (Leelee) had already made lasagna, and I need something different to eat once in a while.”

War or not, Blue House analysts are already running scenarios. “It’s going to be a difficult place to live,” one such analyst predicted. “With the Kitty Konflict already waging, a new war raging in The Kitchen could be the straw that break The House’s back.”

And yet, for now, Nichole and Leelee have issued no comments, and The Kitchen remains relatively silent. The only sound permeating the air is the subtle trickle of the kitty water fountain from PetSmart. It will now be intriguing to see if Nichole and Leelee cook up the same dish again. If so, the War Hawks will most likely rear their ugly heads again.

Lionelle could only watch as Ninja's forces rolled onto The Porch.

THE PORCH – In an operation made for the history books, Ninja finally captured The Porch. He did so with an all-out assault that rivaled only blitzkrieg in its intensity. After a grueling defense, Lionelle, facing certain annihilation, was faced to abandon her longtime stronghold. “When the tanks rolled in,” The Blue House Lives only living war correspondent said, “Lionelle confronted the face of defeat. It takes a certain amount of bravery to abandon an intimate fortification like she did.”

The victory was utterly crucial for Ninja, for it enabled him to control the major supply port at The Blue House. Every bit of food, litter and cat nip that passes through to Lionelle must now first go through Ninja. For Lionelle, the loss of The Porch was devastating. Rumors had been circulating for weeks regarding her dwindling forces. Now, it has become certain that Lionelle is on a precipice and faces the possibility of ultimate defeat.

Ninja’s war machine, however, is running on all cylinders. He mustered a terrifying collection of tanks, aircraft and heavy artillery and slammed into Lionelle’s defenses. It seemed no matter how much Lionelle’s forces were entrenched, Ninja would not be repelled. In this, The Third Battle of The Porch, Ninja did away with a strategy of skirmishes and prepared for a decisive strike.

Ninja (left) was relentless in his offensive against Lionelle (center).

Those close to the battlefield say that the casualty level on both sides was nothing less than exorbitant. Ninja’s lost a chunk of his army, but Lionelle seems to have lost the brunt of her war-making muscle. Many critics now say that her unconditional surrender is approaching.

Following the victory, Ninja stood before a congregation of supporters and demanded Lionelle’s capitulation. He also promised the establishment of what he termed the “Ninja Empire”. What this Empire entails is unknown at the moment. Ninja did promise that he would soon “control all the litter boxes in The Blue House”. Lionelle has already complained that Ninja has snuck into her box late in the night and planted a few odorous mines. The Blue House Lives has received a video copy of Ninja’s victory speech, and it is presented here:

This battle marked the first physical conflict between the two felines in weeks. War strategians speculate that this battle was the culmination of a mini cold war, in which both sides stockpiled their arsenals in preparation for a conclusive collision. Whether or not the defeat on The Porch spells doom for Lionelle, however, remains to be witnessed.

Lionelle fled early in the morning following a day’s worth of bombardment. This bombardment was followed by a combination of land and amphibious invasions by Ninja and his extensive military. The artillery shelling of the early day had already weakened Lionelle. Therefore, Ninja’s forces were able to storm through to all facets of The Porch without debilitating resistance.

Ninja's (right) amphibious assault stifled Lionelle's (left) defenses.

“It was remarkable,” one observer said. “Ninja’s total offensive and marauding crippled Lionelle. Yet, she withdrew with as much courage and brilliance as Ninja displayed coming in.” Many close to the war believe that Lionelle’s decision to withdraw signals her unwillingness to surrender. That intransigent disposition is what has propelled this ongoing conflict. Even with Ninja celebrating like George W. Bush on an aircraft carrier, it is difficult to fathom Lionelle calling it quits. Experts believe she has retired to Old Pontiac on the East Wing. There, they say, she waits for another encounter with her perpetual nemesis.

August 10, 2009 – Cats Clash on Porch Again!
July 27, 2009 – The Porch Invaded

Mario Kart 64 enkindles the spirit of both competitors.

THE BLUE HOUSE – For a couple of years now, there has been an intense rivalry in the Blue House settled around Super Mario Kart 64. This rivalry, while it has failed to intrigue the population overall, has entrenched itself within the hearts and thoughts of a select few. This rivalry is waged between Michael C. Fox and Nicholas Orr (a.k.a. Ricky, a.k.a. FIN). For now, it appears that the rivalry has taken a small hiatus, and there are conflicting reasons for this break.

Orr states that Michael is simply frightened to reenter the competition. He states, “Ever since I found a working controller, he has been scared to play. I had beaten him the last few times, and he knows that will continue.”

Fox, however, regards this break as merely an interim. “We will play again,” he said. Yet, when asked when and where the renewal of this rivalry would take place, he did not have a response. For now, however, the competition is as dead as Ninja’s chances on The Porch.

When will this rivalry renew itself?

When Orr stated that Fox was frightened now that he had a functional controller, there was legitimacy to his statement. Granted, The Blue House Lives cannot guess as to what Fox’s emotion state of fear is at the moment, but Orr was disadvantaged for some time with a dysfunctional controller. Many experts also observe that Orr’s performance enhanced after he employed a fully-operative controller.

Fox, however, disputes these claims. He stated, “He didn’t have a broken controller. He’s just whining about losing. I can’t help it that when it comes to Mario Kart, he’s second-rate.” Fox goes on to exclaim that he would be thrilled to face Orr with his new controller. He says there’s nothing to be afraid of. “He should be used to losing by now, as I am used to winning,” he said. “My only concern is that he does not hire DK to shoot me down. He is shady like that.” Fox refers to his growing hatred for Donkey Kong, for he has had Fox’s number since the beginning of the series.

For now, the giant board that related each participant’s respective scores sits silently in The Kitchen. The board shows a considerable stalemate, as neither competitor ever gained a sizable lead over the other. Fox shows strength in the Mushroom Cup and the Special Cup. This strength is due mostly to Orr’s difficulty on the very formidable Rainbow Road. It truly is where you go when you die, and Orr has met many a defeat there.

The board displays each man's strengths and weaknesses.

Orr, however, pummels Fox on the Flower Cup and displays a minor advantage on the Star Cup. Yet, with an operational controller, Orr promises to improve on all Cups. “I’ll be standing on that podium,” he states. “There’s no doubt in my mind.”

Whether or not this rivalry will receive a reigniting like the Amazon War, time will tell. The venue has since been relocated from The East Wing to The Downstairs, and this proves, many experts say, to be a major hindrance to the continuation of the series. Yet, if the spirit of competition eventually does rear its ugly head again, The Blue House Lives will be there in full force.

The war began when M.C. Fox discovered Striker accumulating a large arsenal of potential purchases on his Wish List on Amazon.com. In response to the threat, Fox began building up his own arsenal. This was the initial launch of the online hostilities between the two. This cold war of possible buys created an enormous tension between not just the combatants but also on the entire internet community. One Amazon.com user described the anxiety, “Everyone was afraid every day. We weren’t sure if they were both merely bluffing, or one of them would back down, or this thing was going to blow up into a complete war.”

Striker builds his Wish List up in case of attack.

Unfortunately, the two did exchange strategic purchases causing many minor skirmishes, but nothing ever exploded into that type of all-out war that many feared. Once Fox did buy a light bulb on the website, which many war experts viewed as a major victory, although the battle itself was anticlimactic. The Blue House Lives senior war correspondent recalls the fighting, “It was not something that you could make a blockbuster out of, but there was always the implicit fear that it could explode into World War III.”

The hostilities, however, eventually ceased, and both parties went back to building their Wish Lists. Everyone on the net went back to their business, rationing ended and most believed that conflict settled. Yet, many experts warn that this animosity may not be calmed, and there could a storm forming on the horizon. “War is still a definite possibility,” one expert cautioned. “I would never underestimate these two enemies and their online hatred for each other.”

The two, it seems, are tightly engaged in a cold war on Amazon right now. Neither party was available for comment, but it is widely known that neither belligerent is willing to concede defeat. This lack is concession is even more unsettling considering that their Wish Lists are growing to gargantuan sizes. One expert relates, “Their arsenals are expanding to epic proportions. It looks like they are preparing for the mother of all battles.” The question on everyone’s mind, however, is whether the rest of us should be preparing as well.

For now, the two continue to build their arsenals. Yet, the longer they go without conflict, the larger their ability to wage grandiose warfare grows. The rivalry sits presently like a volcano with magmatic pressure building. Eventually, experts admonish, this pressure will reach a breaking point.

The seven beers could cause a huge stir.

There is a simple fact that must be acknowledged at the house this present moment: there are seven Coors Lights in the refrigerator. That they reside in the fridge is not an unbelievable detail, for many a beer has found its way into the Blue House chill-box. No, the unbelievable fact is that these beers have been there since Saturday and have not been drunk. This situation raises the eyebrows of many experts, for it is now unknown as to the fate of these beers. In simple terms, who will drink them, or, even more perplexing, are they, as many claim, untouchable?

These questions will be the subject of intense observation by the Blue House Lives. So far, no one is willing to comment on the status of those seven silver bullets, but everyone tacitly agrees that something must be done. Pundits everywhere have expressed the basic ambiguities regarding full beers that are more than a couple of days old.

Firstly, it becomes difficult to determine whose beer is actually clogging up the refrigerator. At the Blue House, this usually is not a difficult drawback, yet there are times that establishing an owner’s identity becomes a pressing issue. Some have pushed for legislation that places a specific definition on an owner’s period of ownership. Therefore, if a beer outstays its welcome, it becomes what is referred to as “fair game”. Overall, anyone who has a thirst can quench it with the overstayed beer.

The beers could cause major blockage in the refridgerator. By the way, we would like to thank Dole, Brita, and Coors Light for today's unofficial sponsership.

Secondly, the beer simply clogs up the refrigerator. This blockage prevents other beverages, such as milk, soda, or simply more beer from being placed in the fridge. In a place with so many cohabitants like the Blue House, blockage leads to close conflict and the potential for open warfare. So far, no conflicts have broken out over the beers, but the Blue House Lives will be on-scene if belligerency does occur.

The Blue House Lives chief kitchen correspondent reminds us that there has been a spike in the milk consumption in the Blue House. How this will affect those seven beers is still unknown, but it is possible that a complete diary takeover could take place within the confines of the magnet-clad fridge. Yet, it must be remembered that this is all presupposition, but many experts have had presentiments that some crisis stemming from the Coors Lights is approaching. The Blue House Lives will persist in its ongoing coverage of the seven silver bullets and will soon answer whether the beers are, in fact, untouchable.