Ninja's speech was very brief, but its implications are house-altering.

THE PORCH, Blue House – The speech came and went. It was short and sweet. And Ninja is gone, having left the house, as he claimed it, in “peace.”

While the speculators expected a speech that would rival Kennedy or Lincoln, Ninja instead delivered a speech that consisted of only 107 words, but many near the scene say that it may resonate for years to come. “Ninja is a modern Cincinnatus,” Jeff L. Horner, leading Kitty Konflict historian, said. “He left the house up to its own devices. Now, only God knows what kind of government the house will adopt.”

Ninja described abandoning his throne as his “rightful and noble duty” and went on to “thank the house for its blessings.” Following the speech, The Porch, Ninja’s old stronghold, erupted in gracious applause. Even Lionelle was said to have wept when he concluded.

Now, it seems the house is at peace, and the cries of kitty warfare are silenced like ghosts absolved. One can only hope that the tranquil feeling will last. Today may be marked as a holiday if it does. But if not, may we all celebrate this day in Ninja’s honor, or perhaps honor it as Ninja does. “Today,” he said, “let us revel in peace.”

Here is Ninja’s speech as seen on The Porch:

“It caught us all by surprise,” Nickle stated shortly after the abdication and subsequent shave. “He stood for order and strength. Right now, our strength is drained, and we are certainly without order.”

As disquietude reigns in Ninja’s place, those close to the house think the only solution is a unanimous appeasement to Lionelle. “I think,” Striker said, “that it’s time for Lionelle to rise to the position that she’s been prepared for her entire life.”

When asked whether the war is over or not, however, Jeff L. Horner responded simply by saying, “I don’t know enough yet.” Ninja’s forces, for now, still occupy The Porch, the symbolic stronghold that carried so much significance throughout the war. Who commands them following the abdication remains a mystery.

Reports have also been surfacing, that show that Lionelle has been strengthening her forces. It is possible that she could launch an assault upon The Porch while Ninja’s military faces a logistics calamity.

The Blue House is confused and anxious right now. Many believe that Ninja’s abdication may grant freedom, but others believe it will plunge the house into a pool of anarchy. All fears are justified, and it appears that only Ninja’s speech later this week will hold the answer.

This is the first image of Ninja following his unexpected abdication. He shaved his fur into a lion cut.

PORCH FORTRESS, Blue House – In a wave of unprecedented events, Ninja has officially abdicated as Grand Emperor of the Blue House. The announcement came earlier this morning, and Ninja is expected to give a farewell speech within days. The former leader also shaved his fur, leading many to believe that his action is based on an ambiguous African kitty religion.

For the last year, Ninja and Lionelle have been engaged in a bitter conflict for control of the Blue House. Once Ninja’s forces stormed The Porch and shoved Lionelle into exile, Ninja established the Ninja Empire, which has become the sole governing body of the house. The implications of Ninja’s abdication on the war and the house have yet to be realized. Lionelle, as of yet, has been unavailable for comment. Many critics, however, speculate that the introduction of a third feline, Sophie, may have carried weight in Ninja’s decision.

Photos are slowly trickling out that display Ninja’s new haircut. The style closely resembles that of a lion. “It seems Ninja is trying reconnect with something lion-like, perhaps his ancient African roots,” Jeff L. Horner, leading Kitty Konflict historian stated. “As a cat of color, he has, for a long time, spoken of getting in touch with his ancestry. The lion-cut may be the first step.”

The entire house is sitting on edge awaiting Ninja’s speech. What he says will impact the lives of many, and his departure could lead to the next great upheaval in the house. This publication will have much more coverage of this epic happening, for we, like everyone else, could be mortally affected by it.

Sophie snoozes in the Bottled Water Box in an act of unselfish protection.

KITCHEN, Blue House – In case of a zombie apocalypse, it’s good to know that the Blue House’s bottled water supply is safe. Residents were thoroughly pleased recently when they caught a glimpse of Sophie sleeping soundly inside a water bottle box. “It was cute,” Nickle said, “I thought it wasn’t possible for her to be any cuter, but, as usual, she defies my expectations.”

Experts are unsure how Sophie ended up in the box, but most agree she must have climbed in with altruistic intentions. “She wants to protect our water,” Jeff L. Horner said. “Water is our most precious resource, and one of our precious felines wants it to remain abundant in our house.”

Sophie lied still in the box for a matter of hours. Some speculators wonder if she anticipated some unexpected attack on the house, for she did not waver in the least from her difficult task of lounging and sleeping. Eventually, she did rise her furry little head and leave the water safely behind, but, as many in The Blue House agree, when it comes to thorough and experienced resource protection, Sophie’s methods are anything but all wet.

Hampton stirs up the water and the balls as he crashes with intensity into the water.

SIDEYARD, Blue House – To put it bluntly: The Blue House has a new pool. After losing last year’s pool in an unthinkable tragedy, the House mustered together the strength to persevere and purchased a new, luxurious pool. “I think it’s an incredible piece of work,” Jeff L. Horner stated. “When you look at the plastic, air and water all combined in a fugue of aquatic bliss, you realize that we here at The Blue House are truly blessed.”

The festivities surrounding the new pool electrified those in attendance. Scooter, Hampton and Wiggs took full advantage of the hot day by showing off some acrobatic wonders that had even former Olympians stunned. The three even filled the pool with circus-style balls that were catapulted through the air at record speeds when one of the three slammed into the water.

“The balls were great,” one observer later added. “To see them shot through space like the heavens above was a sublime pleasure for me.”

Scooter performs a graceful somersault (Scootersault) into the pool.

It appears that the new pool will be a constant fixture at the House throughout the summer. “It’s getting really hot,” Horner said. “A pool just seemed the logical solution to cool everyone down, and as usual, the House didn’t disappoint.” Much more coverage regarding the pool and subsequent events is sure to come, and The Blue House Lives will be there with all the mesmerizing details.

These ribbons have become the symbol of the "Support Washington" movement.

SEATTLE – The isolation of Washington State by a vast wall has stirred up a lot of controversy, extending beyond just the politics of the matter. The national Congress’s decision to build a wall surrounding the border of the state has proven to be a highly disputed topic in the West.

The Federal government has a long history of begrudging the great state of Washington. “The feds have been angry ever since our statehood in 1889. And we all know the real reason…” Washingtonian Tukwilla Lewis explains. “They want to go by Washington instead of D.C. It’s confusing having two well known Washingtons in one country. But let’s face it; they’re not even a state. They’re a district.”

The people of Washington had acknowledged the possibility of separating themselves from the nation and becoming autonomous, but that idea was quickly discarded after receiving countless letters of support against the erection of the Wall by Congress. Oregon Native Florence Coos wrote “On behalf of myself, the people of Oregon, and many other West Coast inhabitants, we feel it is our duty to unite against the tyranny of the Eastside of our once unified country and join our efforts to save the majestic state of Washington from architectural exile.”

Oregon, Idaho, Utah, and Northern California have sworn allegiance to Washington State and agree to work against the erection of the wall, by building their own walls following their most eastern borderlines. Southern California had decided to remain neutral due to certain suspensions. “The goal is to keep prejudices out and hopefully expand the mission to our neighboring states until we touch D.C itself,” Utah Governor G.R Herbert stated at a press conference.

“The West will not tolerate being alienated and sanctioned off.” This division has recently entered the sports community, with former Big-12 teams now leaving their conference to join the Pac-10 in support of the Washington movement. The University of Colorado’s Buffaloes pledged their allegiance just recently. Oklahoma, Oklahoma state, Nebraska, Texas, Texas A & M, and Texas Tech are all considering showing their support to the West Coast, making the Pac-10 more of a Pac-16.

This map shows the growing range of states supporting Washington. The darker colored states represent the already established support of the Pac 10 Conference. The lighter color states represent newly added supporters.

“Everyone should know by now not to mess with Texas, and Texas supports Washington all the way,” Texan Dallas Worth proclaimed. “We’ll take back the West if we have to.”

Recently in Vancouver, Canadians were seen proudly displaying pro-WA bumper stickers and support ribbons. Congress has yet to comment on the uprising.  With the talk of Canada getting involved, an international dilemma could be at hand and Congress is predicted to buckle, as usual, on the issue.

Did Thomas Jefferson get his inspiration for Monticello from the Blue House?

UNDERGROUND CONFERENCE CHAMBER, Blue House – Did Thomas Jefferson steal the Blue House’s design with his creation of Monticello? That is the question that top researchers are asking as they gather for a weekend conference in which the origins of the Blue House will be discussed. It has already been confirmed that the two residences’ possess an arcane resemble to one another. “It’s a question of age actually,” Samuel P. Westernshire, IV, said. “Don’t get me wrong, Monticello is an amazing structure. But so is the Blue House. Whichever house is older is the house that wins the debate.”

Many experts believe that the original idea from Monticello sprung from Jefferson’s mind when he was a mere child in the 1740s and 1750s. He promised his childhood friend Dabney Carr that he would one day build a house on the hill that they consistently explored and played upon. That hill became Monticello, which in Italian translates as “Little Mountain.” Monticello, closer its current (ever unfinished) form, was begun in 1772.

The origin of the Blue House is much more ambiguous, however. Last year, when assumingly ancient wall drawings were discovered in The Study, researchers took a new perspective on the House’s age. “Those drawings brought up the idea that the House could be thousands of years old,” Salmon Corduroy, one such researcher, stated. Others have placed the House’s origins sometime after the fall of the Western Roman Empire. This era is considered as a possibility based on the discovery of sixth century Latin blueprints that bear an uncanny resemblance to the House. Some researchers have even speculated that the Blue House is much younger, with its roots springing from the 1960s.

This drawing from The Study's wall sparked much debate as to the origin of the Blue House.

The fact remains, however, that an undeniable similarity exists between Monticello and the Blue House. That similarity will be a major focus point at this weekend’s conference.

Other topics open for debate will include the House’s role in the American Revolution, the Nullification Crisis of 1830s and the American Civil War. It will also be examined whether Ponce de León’s quest for the legendary Fountain of Youth was actually a search for the House’s heralded septic system. These historical debates and others will surely galvanize the record crowd expected at the conference.

Mike Dunn proved to be the hero of this one, as he provided the Bunions with five RBIs. Four of those came on a grand slam that he belted in the eighth inning. “When you play well,” Dunn said, “it feels really good. When you play well in a championship game, it feels heavenly.”

For the fourth game in a row, Manchester’s pitching was no match for Boulder potent offense. Boulder amassed 12 hits to the Monarchs’ nine. “Our offense performed brilliantly,” Striker, Boulder’s ecstatic manager, said after the game. “I think these last four games may have been our best of the season.”

Now, as Boulder celebrates, the rest of the league hunkers down and prepares for the Summer Season which starts in a matter of weeks. The Bunions should definitely be the favorites to repeat, but with so many free agents declared, anyone could claim the title as the league’s most talented team.

Matt Talley hit a home run in the third, as he continues his exemplary play in the postseason. The home run, sailing in the mile-high air of Dr. Scholl’s Park, traveled 470 feet before dropping into stands. Later that inning, Conrad Strike knocked in David Blair put Boulder up by two runs.

The Monarchs once again struggled to hit the ball, amassing only one run on six hits. Walt Lloyd hit a single to center that drove in Paul Carter to provide Manchester’s only run of the game.

David Blair added another RBI in the seventh to conclude the scoring. “We’re doing what we have to do,” Striker said following the win. “You have to win your home games in a series like this.”

The series travels to Manchester for Game 3 on Sunday.

A packed house witnessed Game 1 of the Championship Series, in which the hometown Boulder Bunions won 6-1.

Manchester cut the lead to 2-1 in the fifth after Paul Carter hit a 380 foot home run. But starting in the sixth inning, Boulder was back on the offensive. David Blair was walked in, and Keith McElroy hit a floater down the third base line that brought in Leonard Strike. After two more runs in the seventh, the dust settled and Boulder had a 6-1 victory.

With Game 1 in the books, Manchester prepares to avenge their loss in Game 2 at a sold-out Dr. Scholl’s Park in Boulder. “We just didn’t perform,” Jacob Hampton said following the game. “They hit the ball very well, and we never responded.”

Brandon Strike was pleased with his team’s performance. “I think this was a good way to start off,” he said. “Winning your games at home in a series like this is very important. Let’s hope we can keep it up.”