Hot Fuzz lives up to it's awe inspiring poster

Hot Fuzz

Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Timothy Dalton, Jim Broadbent, Paddy Considine, Edward Woodward, Billie Whitelaw

Written By: Simon Pegg and Edgar Wright

Directed by: Edgar Wright

As Hot Fuzz opens we are introduced to ace cop Nicholas Angel (Pegg).  Angel is the best cop on the force, in every aspect of the job.  The action, the public relations, and even the paperwork.  He’s so good in fact, that he makes the rest of the force look bad.  As such, he is demoted to the small town of Sandford (the name of the town is derived from the fictional town used in police quizzes in London.).  A perfect little town with the lowest crime rate in the Country.  Sandford has won “Village of the Year” for several years in a row.  It’s literally so perfect of a town that the biggest police worth problem is an escaped swan.  However Sandford isn’t quite as pleasant as it seems.  There is something very sinister going on in Sandford and only the perfect cop, and his bumbling partner Danny Butterman (Frost) can put a stop to it.

Hot Fuzz is a delightful film, loaded with enough pop culture references to fill half a season of Psych and overflowing with tongue in cheek humor that only the best British comedians can produce.  Simon Pegg maintains the same comedic form that he’s had since his days on Spaced, and nobody can play the bumbling oaf like Nick Frost.  This comedic duo could probably do a remake of Gigli and win over audiences.  The town of Sandford is rendered beautifully, and David Arnold’s score really draws the viewer in.  Edgar Wright and Pegg’s writing is top notch stringing you along with silly jokes, while managing to foreshadowing towards the explosive climax all the while.  You only truly appreciate the film having watched it a 2nd time, as this allows you to notice hints that were missed the first go round.

The supporting cast is wonderful as well.  Timothy Dalton plays his best role to date, as the Super-Market manager Simon Skinner.  He brings of charm and sinisterness that only he can manage, while keeping pace with Pegg in the comedic game.  Jim Broadbent plays the benevolent police chief Frank Butterman.  He creates a perfect illusion of peace an harmony, and his melt down during the climax is a perfect transition to the polar opposite.  The remaining members of the Sandford police force are walking stereotypes, executed as humorously as possible.  With Paddy Considine and Rafe Spall playing “The Andys”.  Partners that are snide, over-confident, and at times down right annoying, yet still likable unlike the characters in other police films that they are spoofing.  Olivia Colman plays Doris Thatcher, a snarky PC with an affection for making sexual jokes at her own expense, yet feigning outrage when another makes the same joke.  Karl Johnson plays a rambling PC who never says anything you can understand, yet the other officers know exactly what he’s saying, and finally Kevin Eldon plays Sgt. Tony Fischer the least flamboyant of the crew.  Likely a play on Judge Reihnhold.

The “Wrighting” in Hot Fuzz is hilarious as always.  Ranging from the word play gags, such as adding the word Alliance to the end of neighborhood watch so all the characters call a group of old white people the NWA for the entire film to simply delivering the funniest possible outcome numerous times during fight scenes.  During the climatic series of gunfights, almost all of them end in either environmental incapacitation or hand to hand combat.  The fist fight between Dalton and Pegg is a perfect fusion of James Bond meets Tom and Jerry.  Pegg’s and Wright’s comedic instincts are so great that they added in the funniest part to the movie, simply because they said, “Wouldn’t it be funny if…”  That style of editing brings a great style of personalization to their work that is rarely seen these days.  Certainly Wright, Pegg and Frost should be discussed along the likes of Ferral, Riley, and McKay or Rogen, Hill, and Apatow.  That is, if not before.

10 out of 10

Splitting Heirs

Splitting Heirs is the story of the cursed line of Dukes of Bournemouth. Tragedy and horrific clumsiness has stricken the Bournemouth family since its inception. The story begins with the abandonment of the 15th Duke, baby Thomas Henry Butterfly Rainbow Peace after dinner in a fine New York restaurant.A false baby is substituted, and Tommy Patel, played by Eric Idle, is raised by a poor Pakistani family. His counter part Henry Martin (Moranis) is loud, obnoxious, and an idiot. After the 14th Duke dies, Henry inherits the position. At this time Tommy discovers that not only is he adopted, but he himself is the rightful heir.Tommy meets with Shadgrind, the seedy lawyer that handled his case as a baby (Cleese), who tells him there’s nothing he can do unless the current Duke were to meet with an accident. Idle plays a lovable schmuck, who is opposed to the idea at first. However a one night stand with Henry’s gold digging fiancée (Zeta-Jones) and a look at his birthright is all it takes to sway his opinion.

What ensues is a stretch of failed assassinations, as Henry manages to come away unscathed (as the curse is working against Patel and not himself) for the largest duration of the film. During this time the Duchess (Hershey) takes a liking to Tommy, whom barely manages to overcome her nymphomaniacal advances time and time again.

As the movie advances one begins to feel sorry for Henry, who is a genuinely nice guy, who by sheer luck manages to avoid attempt after attempt on his life by his own best friend. Eventually Tommy, thinks he has succeeded and becomes overwhelmed with guilt. When he realizes the truth, he is overcome with joy and decides being the best friend of the Duke isn’t that bad. Insert Shadgrind, who refuses to accept that Tommy has grown complacent in his role. This develops into a running joke throughout the movie as other characters simply ignore whatever Tommy says and continue to accuse him of whatever they themselves were guilty of.

Splitting Heirs is a solid film. The cast delivers great performances for what is truly a lacking script. The better parts come off like sketches from Monty Python, while other parts seem to be taken straight from other movies. If you like Python or Idle’s other works, Splitting Heirs, is an enjoyable film. In the end however, it is merely worth a rental.

5.5 out of 10

Find Me Guilty

Find Me Guilty is the true story of Jackie Dinorchio, and his part in the longest trial ever in United states history.  The movie begins with Jackie D (Vin Diesel) asleep in his bed as his junkie cousin Tony Compagna comes in and shoots him.  Jackie’s response is “Cousin, I love you.  Why are you doing this?”  Tony shoots Jackie three more times and runs as Jackie’s daughter Marina walks in.  Jackie survives and when asked who shot him he responds, “I don’t know.  I was asleep the whole time.”   He later tells Marina “He’s my cousin and I love him.  He loves me, too.  He’s just too junked out to know it.”

Shortly after Jackie’s recovery he is busted in a cocaine sting and the prosecuting attorney Sean Kierney (Linus Roache) offers him a deal, if he’ll cooperate.  Kierney then starts the wheels on his RICO prosecution and Kierney offers Jackie another deal.  Jackie’s response “Fuck you…  You got a brother?  Fuck him too.”  Jackie fires his attorney who had just gotten him thirty years for the low cost of $250,000 and whom was trying to charge him $60,000 for setting him up with the opportunity to rat on his friends.   Jackie decides to defend himself and proceeds to become the proxie ringleader of the three ring circus the trial turns into.

Diesel gives the performance of his career as the wisecracking Dinorchio, whom he portrays with such lightheartedness and loyalty that I felt for him from the get go.  Peter Dinklage delivers a solid performance as Ben Klandis, one of the lead defense attorneys, who serves as an advisor to Dinorchio when he starts to get himself into trouble.  Ron Silver‘s portrayal of Judge Finestein, brings a refreshing balance to what otherwise is strictly a two pony show.  Linus Roache is underwhelming compared to Diesel and Dinklage, merely playing the generic spiteful prosecutor.   Alex Rocco is forgettable as Nick Calabrese, one of the heads of the New Jersey Lucchese Family, showing only two emotions: Hate and disdain.

Find Me Guilty is reminiscent of My Cousin Vinny with Diesel at his most charismatic, and Jonathan Tunick‘s soundtrack helps make a movie about a two year trial an upbeat experience.

7 out of 10

Legion

Starring: Paul Bettany, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki, Kevin Durand, Dennis Quaid

Directed by: Scott Stewart

Written by: Scott Stewart and Peter Schink

Constantine is the terribly acted story of the devil’s child being born into the world to destroy humanity… Oh, wait wrong movie. Terminator is the story of the Sarah Conner, the mother of Humanity’s last hope and the pure evil sent to destroy them… Er… wrong movie again. Give me a minute, I’ll get this right in a second. Legion (Ha, got it right this time.) is the story of Charlie (Adrianne Palicki) a waitress in a rundown resteraunt in the middle of the dessert, who is pregnant (That’s how it’s different than Terminator. She’s already pregnant. So there.) and the unborn child she is carrying is Humanity’s last hope of survival. She works for Bob Hanson (Quaid) a bitter old man, whose son Jeep (Left 4 Dead 2′s Ellis)… that’s right he named his son Jeep… has an awkward fasination with Charlie. Only other than being loyal, Jeep is pretty much a waste of space and Charlie doesn’t give him a second thought. Left 4 Dead 2′s Coach also has a small role as the cook in the resteraunt, who just happens to be heavily religous and is missing a hand. Throw in a couple who just can’t seem figure out their teenage daughter and you have yourself the most stereotypical cast in the history of poorly written scripts. They go about their lives waiting for a plot to fall from the sky, when finally some crazy old frog lady with sharp teeth and a taste for raw flesh, comes to destroy her. She’s saved when Dawn of the Dead’s Mekhi Phifer who stopped in to use the phone, shoots the old lady with the gun he streotypicaly had tucked in the back of his pants. He proceeds to make his phone call to call his baby mama, and complains about not being able to see his son. (WALT!) Somewhere around this time a naked angel named Micheal (Geoffrey Chaucer from A Knight’s Tale) is seen standing in an ally. He decides to cut off his wings, robs a gunstore, and rushes off to save the day after a brief altercation with a possessed cop. Before you know it all kinds of freaks start showing up and it turns out they are led by the Archangel Gabriel (Lost’s Martin Keamey.) I normally wouldn’t want to give too much of the story away but I’m really doing you a favor, so here’s a rundown:

The black people die early. The bitchy mom gets almost everyone killed. Dennis Quaid can’t act. Micheal delivers the baby, just in time for Gabriel to kill him. Remember when he cut his wings off? Just like Matt Damon Dogma, that made him human. Dennis Quaid blows up the resteraunt to kill Gabriel. He’s fine though, being an angel and all. Then it’s just Charlie, Ellis, and Charlie’s baby. He chases them to a cliff, and Ellis tackles him right off the edge. Just when Gabriel gets up and is about to kill him, Micheal makes his return. His sacrifice restore God’s faith in humanity and by dieing he became an angel again. By not believing in humans and by not sparing Micheal, he has failed God. What a Shamalamalan style twist.

I do realize that this review wasn’t quite up to the proffessional level of my other review, but some movies just aren’t good enough for that kind of treatment. Paul Bettany is stellar, which given the script, is miraculous. Kevin Durand once again delivers a truly intimidating performance, but his range of emotions only include wrath, anger, and confusion. The latter of which I’m guessing was supposed to be a mixture of disappointment and fear rooted in the fact that he had just failed God. Jon Tenney and Willa Holland (the father and daughter combo) were completely neglible as far as the plot is concerned, but easily out act the rest of the human cast. The plot seems to have been stolen directly from Terminator and Constantine, and the CGI is straight out of Blade 2 when possessed humans are on the screen. Legion is disasterpiece of sterotypes, cliches, predictable plot twists, horrid acting, and worse accents. Paul Bettany’s performance allowed me to tough it out to the very unsurprising ending.

2.5 out of 10

Shutter Island

The Crazies

Starring: Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, Joe Anderson, Danielle Panabaker

Directed by: Breck Eisner

Executive Producer: George Romero

The Crazies opens with most of the town of Ogden Marsh, including Sheriff David Dutton (Olyphant) and deputy Russell Clank (Anderson) at a high school baseball game. Clank spots Rory Hamill entering the outfield with a gun. Dutton is forced to contront Rory, but is unable to get him to put down the gun. Dutton assumes Rory, formerly the town drunk, is intoxicated and is forced to shoot him as he raises his shotgun. David and his wife Judy (Mitchell) the town doctor begin to notice other residents acting strangely, being slow to respond and often repeating answers multiple times. The next day a patient of Judy’s from the day before kills his wife and son. David and Russell delve into what is wrong tracing the problem out to the river where the town gets it water supply. They first uncover a deceased pilot trapped in his chute, and later the plane he was flying. Shortly after they get back to town, the military arrives placing the town under quarantine. They separate the citizens showing increased temperate (assuming they are infected from the rest of the citizens.) In typical fashion the shit hits the fan shortly afterwards and David, Judy, Russell, and Judy’s assistant Becca (Panabaker) are on their own avoiding military, and infected alike as they make their way out of the town.

The Crazies isn’t your typical zombie movie. The disease which was developed as a bio-weapon much like the plots of Resident Evil, and only itwas deemed too dangerous to be released. However the infected aren’t slow moving, and they are no crazy mutations either. The virus wears away at the victims self control while stimulating their natural tendencies toward hostility. It affects each person at a slightly different rate, however in the end, it effects them all the same. It turns them into killers. Any who isn’t infected is fair game, while like the other movies in the genre they don’t attack other infected. Unlike those other movies, they not only work together, but they plan and communicate verbally.

The Crazies gets right into the action, and never lulls for longer than it needs to to advance the storyline. It also manages to keep you guessing often hinting towards one horrible fate, to throw another worse fate at you seconds later. Like other movies you have your perfectly rational characters, your overly emotional characters, and a few that lie between. The movie does what you want. It gives you the problem, tells you how it happened, and gives resolution. No sequel grasping here, either. The closest the movie comes to a loose end is the military satellite seen several times earlier locking on to the only two survivors of Ogden Marsh. Easily the best straight horror movie since 28 Days Later.

9 out of 10

"If you ever wanted to eliminate the image of Frodo from Elijah Wood, this film is your best bet."

Green Street Hooligans

Starring: Elijah Wood, Charlie Hunnam, Claire Forlani, Marc Warren

Directed by: Lexi Alexander

Matt Buckner (Wood) is promising journalism student at Harvard, until his room mate pays him off to take the fall when he’s busted for possession of Cocaine.  He moves to the United Kingdom to live with his sister Shannon (Forlani), her husband Steve (Warren), and their son Ben.  Steve forces his brother Pete (Hunnam) to take Matt to the West Hampton football match in return for buying their tickets.   Pete doesn’t want to take an American to a match, but after Matt fights him instead of handing over the ticket money Pete decides he isn’t that bad.  Matt learns that Pete is the head of the West Hampton football firm, The GSE.  He manages to win over Pete’s friends, other GSE members, with the exception of Pete’s second hand man Bowyer.   After the match, the firm desserts Matt and he is ambushed by 3 members of the Birmingham Firm. He is saved by some GSE members who are on their way to a bigger fight.  He not only survives his first real fight, but carries himself well enough to earn the respect of the GSE and is inducted into their ranks.

What follows is the grittiest story of self discovery and redemption that I have ever seen.  Through fighting alongside and becoming a member of the GSE, facing his own demise on multiple occasions,  Matt transforms from lost and helpless to fearless and tremendously driven.  Wood and Hunnam share a chemistry that rivals that of Tucker and Chan, Pegg and Frost, and even Reinhold and Murphy.  Hooligans is not only an insight into the underworld of actual “soccer hooligans” but also a story of growth, blood ties, and redemption.  This story doesn’t revolve solely along Matt though.  Pete goes through as much, if not more,; facing his own demons defending his friends, and eventually his family. The supporting cast is strong but Green Street is purely a two man show.

The tension rises with each fight, every standoff built up more than the last.  From Matt’s first encounter in which he is threatened with a Chelsea Grin, slang for Glasgow Smile, Hooligans has you on the edge of your seat.   The GSE is horribly outnumbered vs an ambush by Red Devils Firm, and that is followed up by two encounters with their rival firm of Millwall that make Fight Club look like Comic Con.

Truth be told, I’ve seen the movie multiple times and I can’t remember any music except the West Hampton anthem.  That’s not necessarily a comment on the score though, as I find myself so drawn into the plot that I don’t notice much beyond the landscape, dialogue, and fights.  The film’s only downfall is the movie world’s inability to have a character not make the worst possible decision at the worst possible moment. Here’s looking at you Forlani.   Whether you are a soccer fan, a fighting fan, or merely a revenge fan  Green Street is a must watch.

9 out of 10