This week, BH Cinema is proud to present Curse of the Golden Flower, the Chinese epic directed by Zhang Yimou. Nickle heralds this movie as "pretty good". Scooter has viewed the poster art and wholeheartedly agrees.
Storm Ravages House
Here lies some of the desolation from the storm that Scooter labelled as "devastating".
BLUE HOUSE — On Tuesday night, two massive systems collided to spawn one of the most terrible thunderstorms to ever strike the Blue House. Strong winds slammed into the area, and a hurricane-like extravaganza erupted with a force unheard of. Thankfully, no one was injured, but the House’s hallowed grounds suffered immensely. Limbs were shattered and thrown from their trees, the trash can was hurled into the yard, and the legendary swing where Fryin’ Brian once roosted was thrown violently into a bush.
“It was devastating,” Scooter said. “What a rush that storm was.”
The tempest was immediately followed by a severe power outage that affected the House for nearly a day. Nothing was visible, and only the silence of a once bustling House remained.
“I could barely see to use the bathroom,” Man-Man said, “and when it’s too dark to poop, you know something ain’t right.”
Scooter recounted his attempt to eat a delicious dinner when the blast arrived: “I was munching on a delicious dish that Nickle prepared, which consisted of salmon, rice, and asparagus. Then the thing hit like a bomb. The storm was everywhere all at once. I thought a tornado was going to strike the House, so I screamed for Nickle and the cats to get downstairs. Of course, no one listened, so I ran down myself. Eventually, it all ended, and, as usual, I looked the idiot—standing in the dark all by my lonesome.”
“I was going to go downstairs too,” Nickle said, “but I didn’t want to be caught unprepared. So, I raced into my room and slipped on tennis shoes. I was the smarter one. Who runs around like an idiot with flip flops on? Coincidently, he (Scooter) had flip flops on.”
Man-Man, however, was content in the garage with his beloved Mazda MX-6. When the power failed, he stood stalwart and continued to restore his masterpiece. When the storm ended and the power refused to return, he enlisted the help of Nickle and Scooter. Nickle held the all-important light, and Scooter used his laptop’s miniscule battery life to serenade the group with soothing music.
“Ain’t no storm going to stop me,” Man-Man said. “Nickle was all right holding the light, and Scooter’s music sucked.”
The group then ascended to the kitchen and played cards by the ambient light of an oil lantern. Each claimed victory in a series of games, but all were winners, for they consumed the warming beer from the refrigerator.
Soon, however, the beer ran scarce, but the House had a proverbial ace up its sleeve. After a scavenger hunt in the downstairs fridge commenced, the trio discovered a trove of beer hidden by the passing years. These beverages were immediately paraded up the stairs in a victory cavalcade.
“It actually turned out quite fun,” Scooter reminisced. “We were forced to be pragmatic, and when that happens, good things happen. I was proud to be a part of it, and mostly, I was proud of the beer.”
The following afternoon, the power returned, and yet, the most unexpected thing occurred. The House experienced sadness. With power came a humdrum return to the everyday. It was even reported that the Blue House itself dripped a drop of blue paint as a symbolical tear.
“I was a little said,” Nickle said. “I wished for another storm, and while they did come, the power remained. It really wasn’t fair. At first the storm was frightening, but then it became a blessing. Oh well. I guess, when the next one comes, I’ll have to throw the breaker to make sure we get the most out of it.”
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