Many claim that the Knoxville area Red Cross has been devoid of volunteers for decades.

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Washington has asked the United States and 50 States to revoke Tennessee’s popular nickname, The Volunteer State. Washingtonians wonder why the state continues to call itself that when it has not made an actual volunteer effort since the war of 1812.

“If they wanted to prove themselves, then now is the time,” challenged Nickle, a long-time dedicated Washingtonian.

“To be honest, I’m a little insulted by these allegations. Why I volunteered just last week for Pellissippi States’ Recycle Mania and won an honorary t-shirt for best recycling maniac,” M.C. Fox proudly responded.

Representatives for the Washington Volunteers Committee explained that the Tennessee Red Cross website has no information on donating towards disaster relief for Japan.

“It’s just sickening that they call themselves Vols and hardly respond when their services are called upon,” a representative for the Evergreen State declared.

The American Red Cross is advertising for relief funds via TV commercials and radio broadcasts urging Americans to donate $10 to their local Red Cross. The Rainier Red Cross, representing multiple counties in Western Washington, displays ways to assist in the Japan earthquake and Pacific Tsunami Response Efforts Front and Center on their webpage. The Knoxville area Red Cross does not.

“I get that the local pages are just that, more localized. But seriously, this was a huge disaster that deserves American attention. All of America,” expressed a Washingtonian volunteer during their final statements.

This image has been proposed a new state seal for Tennessee, as it emphasizes the state's lack of volunteers.

We are currently awaiting Tennessee’s response to the allegations from the West. The Blue House, however, will not stand for such blasphemy.

“If it’s volunteering they want, then it’s volunteering they’ll get,” declared Scooter. “I will drive everyone down to the Sunrise Market this instant and make a $20 donation. How dare those hacky-sacking liberals tell the Vols we don’t volunteer enough.” The Blue House itself has been actively engaged in such selfless operations as recycling and donating.

With the threat of their proud state title possibly being stripped away, can The Blue House get enough Tennesseans to make donations towards the Japan relief fund as an act of volunteerism?

“It’s doubtful,” most Washingtonians said.

Tags: earthquake, japan, M.C. Fox, nickle, no vols, no washington, pellissippi state, red cross, scooter, sunrise market, tsunami

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 24th, 2011 at 7:16 pm and is filed under No Washington. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.