Lasagna Gone; Hostilities Calmed
THE KITCHEN – Early on Thursday morning, the pleasant scent of chocolate brownies pervaded The House. The smell was Leelee’s doing, as she spent the morning preparing a savory platter of brownies.
Many around The House wondered whether this culinary action was an affront directed toward Nichole following the lasagna crisis from earlier in the week.
Leelee, however, dispelled these claims. “I just wanted to make brownies. The guys working on mine and Duncan’s new house installed new countertops today, and I wanted them to have a little snack. That’s what the brownies were for.”
This statement predicated a House-wide sigh of relief. “I think a war has definitely been avoided,” Jeff L. Horner, House correspondent stated. “Like I said earlier, with the Kitty Konflict going on, it is highly unlikely that this house could handle two wars at once.”
Panic erupted on Tuesday afternoon when it was discovered that Nichole and Leelee had both baked lavish lasagna dishes. The following confusion threatened to throw The House into chaos. “I didn’t know what to eat,” M.C. Fox said. “Two lasagnas is one too many.”
Experts experienced in Blue House politics predicted that a state of war was imminent. “Whether it would be declared or undeclared, the hostilities are real,” one noted expert remarked, “and war is most decidedly approaching.”
Leelee’s statement today, however, quelled the panic considerably. While Nichole has been unavailable for comment, sources close to her say that she is highly approving of the statement. “I think she’s calmed now,” one source described. “She didn’t want war any more than the rest of us.”
Nichole has showed no incentive to bake brownies of her own. “She knows that that would be a grave insult,” Jeff L. Horner said. “It would be nothing short of Pearl Harbor. Things have quieted down, and all humanity hopes it stays that way.”