300 Realized
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Horner's 300 not only trumped Nichole but set a standard for all Wii bowlers.
THE BLUE HOUSE – A milestone has come and went, but the world definitely noticed. A barrier always stood with regard to Wii Bowling. That barrier was a 300. The Blue House Lives previously reported on one respectable athlete’s quest for the 300, but last weekend, one member of The House finally achieved what he referred to as “a dream I never thought would be fulfilled.”
Jeff L. Horner, Esquire, bowled a perfect game by closing out every frame with a strike. Twelve strikes later, and Horner was standing alone on a podium so high that a jumbo jet nearly struck him in the temple. “I really couldn’t believe it,” Horner said. “I started racking up strikes one after the other, but when I reached the tenth frame and realized that I had a perfect game going, butterflies started having orgasms in the gut.”
And yet, even in that daunting final frame, Horner’s stroke stayed true. Three strikes fell, and with them, a touchstone rose from the dust. “This is a big deal,” The Blue House Sports Network published in an official statement. “Perhaps, Horner was, as many say, the most unlikely candidate. Perhaps, he is a little too inconsistent on his stroke. But, and this is a big butt (a Sir Mix-a-lot size but), he came through when no one else did. Now he sits alone atop the bowling world. Cheers to you, Mr. 300.”
“Mr. 300” has become Horner’s de facto nickname since his unprecedented achievement. “I don’t think it’s a bad name,” he said “and it is certainly marketable. I would seriously consider wearing a Mr. 300 t-shirt.” As of yet, however, merchandising options have not been announced.
Following Horner’s accomplishment, many sports pundits are perched on their little chairs yammering into a camera the one question that now dominates the Wii Bowling universe: “Who will be next? Who will get the next 300?” Many point to the previously undisputed champion of Wii Bowling, Fryin’ Brian. “Brian can definitely get it,” one such pundit commented. “There is little doubt that he wants it the most.” Others point to M.C. Fox, world-renowned virtuoso, who took home the Blue House Tournament of Bowling Champions trophy a year ago. And yet, there are even others who point to Nichole C. K. Stevens, the newest addition to The House. In her few months on the circuit, Stevens has racked up quite a bit of respect from Wii Bowling aficionados.
Whether or not any of these players will garner 300 honors is a curiosity whose conclusion may be merely blowing in the wind. There is, however, another possibility to which experts look, and yet, at the present time, this possibility is only something that one can imagine. It cannot be spoken or analyzed. This possibility is harrowing to say the least. It is simply a succinct question: “Can Horner do it again?”
Sept. 3, 1802
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