The Couch Surfer Returns!
The couch's unkempt condition was evidence of the Couch Surfer's presence.
THE BLUE HOUSE – In The Study, I almost immediately noticed it: the crumpled blanket, the disheveled cushions and the pillow carved out in the shape of a head. Like the three little bears, someone has been sleeping on The Study’s couch. It was then, at that very moment, I realized it: the Couch Surfer was back.
I do not pretend to know where he came from or his over-arching intentions. What I do know is that he needed somewhere to rest, and he chose The Study’s couch to do so. This choice gives me a sense of great pride, for The Study’s couch is my couch, and my couch, at least for one night, was the Couch Surfer’s couch. So, as I cleared my groggy eyes, I stared blankly at that periwinkle couch and wondered where the Couch Surfer was and what he was up to. Then, a cry reached my ears:
“Damn.”
I strolled through The House with a purpose and found my way into The East Wing. Sitting and beaming directly at the television was the Couch Surfer. He was deeply engrossed in a game of war, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. Obviously, he wasn’t doing so well.
“Damn it,” he screamed.
“Not fighting so well?” I asked.
“Just dying too much.”
This statement is not something one hears very often, and it seemingly only makes sense with regard to the video game world. Then again, I took notice of the circumstances surrounding me. The Couch Surfer was back, and he was dying an awful lot. Yet, luckily for him, he instantly respawns every time he perishes. It must be nice, I thought.
Then again, there are many facets in life where one thinks they’re beaten and finished, but all one really needs to do is think of life as a video game. As long as one is still breathing and one’s heart still pumping, one can immediately respawn and try again. What a nice idea, I thought. I stared hard at the Couch Surfer as he yelled into the television.
The Couch Surfer was found fighting a television war.
“Damn it. That was my kill.”
He had been back merely a moment, and he was already teaching life lessons. The reflection, while profound to me, is simply another day in the life of that vagrant sage, the Couch Surfer.
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July 20, 2009 – The Couch Surfer Revealed
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As he spreads his virus all over the house… inactivity (I.E. video games) leads to a weak immune system…. now we all have to suffer.
thank you, couch surfer. for being considerate.
He needs to go on some where. I have change the door locks, removed my gaurge key code, but he still gets in. Why cant he only Bill Bo Baggens on the weekend?
HAHAHA! ur just pissed ur cat SUCKS!
No, I would vote Ninja over Caldwell any day. Just kidding, both of them shed too much (Dandruff vs. Hair). This ain’t no underground railroad for the bored and restful. This ain’t no cough factory! I do like his random burps, they are very sneaky and funny. This ain’t no soup kitchen! This ain’t no P’zone Barbeque! I do like when he feeds me his leftovers sometimes. This ain’t no flash game headquarters! Except for farmville, because he sends me gifts and helps me cheat. This ain’t no drift course driveway! This ain’t no Dracula sleeping lair! Question? Why does he sleep like Chuck Norris now? Is he sleeping or just waiting? Can we somehow make a computer Command Prompt for him with that little blinking dot when he is waiting? These are the unsolved bluehouse mysteries with Pierce Brosnan instead of Robert Stack.
That couch has seen more action than James Bond. It has been said that ghosts of many Old Hallowed Eves haunt that very couch.