Snow Strikes House!
A substantial amount of snow gradually blanketed The House Saturday morning.
THE BLUE HOUSE – Upon waking, the residents of The Blue House were in for a wintery surprise. The house was caked with significant layer of snow, and the falling flakes show no sign of stopping. It is reported by The Knoxville News Sentinel that two whole inches may be possible in the Tennessee Valley. In the mountains, the accumulations could surpass a whopping four inches.
This thin white blanket has the entire city in a panic. In fact, the news was so shocking that New Sentinel’s headline on their online equivalent this morning read, “Yes, it is snowing!” A reader immediately notices the exclamation point. It is the same exclamation point that ends eye-catching headlines such as “WAR!” and “The President Killed by Assassin!” A Knoxvillian knows this story intrinsically. Snow is Mother Nature’s most recognizable form of terrorism.
It is unknown whether The Blue House is prepared for this two-inch burial of a blizzard. Officials close to The House have stated that the residents hope to act out their day in a normal fashion. Yet, every time one looks out the window, one wonders if their dwindling supply of bread, milk, and eggs will be sufficient. It is almost certain that Knoxville’s grocery establishments were raided by many citizens last evening in a last-ditch effort of survival. Hopefully, for the sake of The House and the planet, Knoxville’s supply of perishable food has not been completely expended.
Blue House experts claim that if the snow continues at its current pace, the following video could become a horrifying reality:
Sept. 3, 1802
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Can Jake Gyllenhaal save Knoxville from this blizzard?
Not if Tobey has his way.