All of Seattle celebrated the Jonas Brothers' arrival.

SEATTLE – Early this week, Seattleites welcomed Paul, Nick and Joseph Jonas to their new home, the Space Needle. Also revealed was the fact that a deal had been in the works for several weeks securing Seattle’s most precious monument for its favorite band. “We are a very proud city,” Mayor Greg Nickels stated Monday morning. “Those three Jonases needed a new home, and considering what big fans we are of their music, it’s a no-brainer to give them the Space Needle.”

The landmark was given a facelift to cater to the three boys’ faces. The new design was revealed at a weekend festival to thunderous applause from the Seatown faithful. “I think it’s a vast improvement,” one local resident claimed. “All of us in Seattle believe the Jonases to be the epitome of perfection, so when their faces adorn the Needle, it makes it a little closer to perfection as well.”

It appears that the Brothers will, as promised, shoot a new Disney series within the confines of the Space Needle.  “The show is going to be success,” a renowned television producer said. “Granted, Seattle is a downtrodden, dirty city, but with the Jonases residing there, they will bring its grime-infested streets a little uplift.”

At the festival, Seattleites held hands and danced around the Space Needle as the boys were taken to the top. The stinging lyrics of “Lovebug” could be heard all the way in Tacoma, a town that also heralded the Jonas Brothers’ arrival. The rest of America is slowly learning about the Northwest’s strange obsession with the Jonas Brothers, but with the Space Needle being dedicated to them, residents all across the country now know that Seattle is the land of Jonas.

“I simply don’t understand it,” Jeff L. Horner, The Blue House Lives’s senior landmark correspondent said. “The Space Needle seemed a unique symbol of a potentially great region of the world. Now, however, we know the truth. Seattleites will do anything to catch a glimpse of the Jonases. And with Mount Rainier’s drug problems, the region is on a downward spiral.”

The Space Needle's new design was unveiled.

Seattleites, and all Washingtonians for that matter, disregard criticism from other parts of the country. They hold true to their beliefs that the Jonas Brothers are the world’s greatest band and their music a gift from God. It has even been said that Seattleites adore the Jonas Brothers more than they do coffee. Now, with the renovation of the Space Needle and the Jonases’ new home there, The Emerald City can declare its love of all things Jonas to the world.

Tags: crappy music, jonas brothers, no washington, space needle, tacoma, tacompton, the emerald city, washington

This entry was posted on Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 12:16 pm and is filed under Breaking News, No Washington. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.