Lionelle stares at Ninja from The Porch.

In war, the unpredictable is always standard, and the Kitty Konflict has proven no different. After a crushing defeat at The Porch a couple of weeks ago, Ninja once again tried his luck by assaulting Lionelle’s impenetrable stronghold. Initially, reports of the invasion were refuted for lack of sufficient evidence, but amateur video has surfaced that chronicles only a glimpse of the intense fighting. That video is presented here.

Considering Ninja’s second invasion of The Porch comes on the heels of his doomed first attempt, strategians are baffled. “I simply do not understand,” one expert said. “Ninja retreated all the way back to Study Window only to set out again without any time to build up supplies. He should not be prepared for such a conquest. It does not make any sense.” Yet, flanked with harsh criticism, Ninja mustered the strength to march to The Porch.

Lionelle as well seemed to be caught with her fur down when Ninja appeared on Window Ledge. Jeff L. Horner, The Blue House Lives chief kitty correspondent said, “Lionelle was as bewildered as everyone else. She initially thought it was merely a bluff, but Ninja is no bluffer.” As Lionelle stared up at a glaring Ninja, bloodshed was certain.

As Ninja gazes down from Window Ledge, he prepares an assault.

Ninja charged down Study Window and, once again, attempted to flank Lionelle. However, with the absence of the 650 gallon pond (it was drained), Ninja had an easier time traversing the woodland terrain of The Porch. He was able to face Lionelle from an advantageous position. Lionelle, however, was eventually forced to counterattack after Ninja’s successful flanking maneuver. One war strategian stated, “It was the damnedest thing I ever saw. How Ninja received the news of the pond’s draining, I will never know, but he took full advantage. Lionelle was in a precarious position. There is no doubt about that.” The Blue House Lives was unable to discover the secret source of Ninja’s intelligence regarding the pond. Wherever the information originated, Ninja clearly envisioned the benefits of it, and forced Lionelle to fight for her feline honor.

Yet, as it would appear that fate had aligned in Ninja’s favor, he may have underestimated Lionelle’s courage. She did not retreat nor relent. Therefore, a gritty, bloody battle ensued. The amateur video that arrived at The Blue House Lives only presents a small portion of that carnage, but what is shown, is gruesome. In the stark ambiance of gunfire and screaming, Lionelle fought Ninja whisker to whisker. It soon became apparent to Ninja that Lionelle would not concede The Porch. He consequently made a difficult but hasty retreat.

This all coming within days of a revealing portrait that painted Ninja as a stoic meditative cat, one cannot but be shocked. For a cat that seems to hold the eye of God within his gaze, Ninja confronted a Lionelle that was more hardened and more prepared for an assault. As Ninja fled over Window Ledge, one could see the dejection on his face. One onlooker related, “His ears were down. His whiskers were slumped. He was crestfallen.” One can only speculate that effects of Ninja’s current disposition.

Lionelle, however, seemed redeemed by the whole ordeal. Many critics were panning her by referring to her earlier victory on The Porch as “nothing but a fluke.” Even with her tail against the wall, she coughed up a hairball of fortitude and repelled a younger, more energetic foe. “Lionelle is in control now,” Jeff L. Horner said. “Ninja now has to fight off not only Lionelle but momentum as well. The Porch is solidly controlled by Lionelle.” As Ninja seemingly runs back to Study Window, Lionelle licks her wounds and remains the undisputed queen of The Porch. The honor, for now, goes to her.

Tags: bagels, battle, bloodshed, blueberries, carnage, icehouse, invasion, Kitty Konflict, lionelle, ninja, the porch, uncle eddie

This entry was posted on Monday, August 10th, 2009 at 12:21 am and is filed under House News, Kitty Konflict. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.