The Turkhold 1 orbits the Earth. The world was shocked by its deployment.

The Blue House has finally entered the final frontier. This week, unbeknownst to the entire planet, The Blue House launched its first satellite. The satellite, titled the Turkhold 1, entered Earth orbit without alerting any major nation. It was only within the past few hours that the details of the launch became known to civilization. The Blue House Lives senior space correspondent reported, “It seems that there has been one small step for the House, one giant leap for Housekind. How the Turkhold escaped detection, no one will ever know, but it’s up there. We can prove that now.”

Jeff L. Horner, a Blue House resident, explained, “We needed a video shot from space, so we built a satellite. Michael (C. Fox) had plenty of left over car parts.” The video shot from space that Horner refers to is a satellite zoom from the heavens to The Blue House. The image is meant to create a cinematic introduction for The Blue House Lives’s breaking news segments. “We had other options,” Horner elaborated, “but a satellite camera proved the most auspicious.” The introduction video is now available, and it, as one NASA engineer relates, looks “astonishing.”

President Obama and the government of the United States have delivered no response on the discovery, and NASA is keeping their lips sealed. It is unknown whether world governments consider the Turkhold a threat or not. As of yet, there is not a contingency plan that blasts an unregistered satellite from orbit.

The Frank 1 was reportedly launched from The Blue House's backyard.

Details are only now emerging, but it appears that the satellite was launched on a rocket, titled the Frank 1, from the Blue House’s backyard. The rocket swiftly leapt into Earth orbit and deployed its cargo. Since then, the satellite has settled into a steady orbit and filmed the breaking news introduction. “This is a big deal for us,” Horner said. “The fact that this is possible shows how much we have grown, not just as a house, but as a people as well.”

Stargazers have taken to the skies to observe the object, and many astronomers have exclaimed their excitement. “It may be the most advanced satellite ever launched,” one expert stated, “or it could be just a camera attached to a hunk of metal. What they do with it will be the big test.”

Until then, however, all we have to judge its merit is the breaking news introduction, which is stunning.

Here it is as it appeared before a piece entitled “Dreams Drown as Pool Drains”:

For now, all one can do is wait and see what happens next. One thing is for sure, however: the planet should not underestimate The Blue House.

Tags: frank, satellite, space, tom hanks, turkhold, video

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 1st, 2009 at 9:14 am and is filed under House News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.