There is change in the air at the Blue House. Earlier today, the kitchen counter was scrubbed with anti-bacterial cleaner to the point that light reflected from the surface. One spokesperson said, “This is a sign that something is changing. Now, no one knows what to expect.” An upstart Blue House politician, simply known as the Upstart, is definitely behind the measure, and was quoted during a speech just after the cleaning, “Nothing can stand in the way of millions of voices calling for change. The kitchen counter is just the beginning of an overall health care reformation. We must fix a broken system, and with the support of the entire Blue House, yes, we can fix it.”

The Counter gets cleaned. Is change really in the air?

This proclamation is a significant departure from the previous policy that allowed the counter to stack up with dishes and become caked with dried food. Granted, it remains unstated exactly how this new system, if enacted, is supposed to function. Yet, the upstart continued, “There are a pile of dirty dishes all over the sink, and this pile represents a substantial threat to our life, our liberty, and our pursuit of happiness. With your help, these dishes can become clean, and health care can be practiced more efficiently. When this change occurs, the dreams of the little kid in the East Wing can be the same as the one who lies on the couch downstairs.”

The full speech was described by an eyewitness as “moving, inspiring, aphrodisiacal.” The Blue House Lives hopes to have a full transcript available soon. Our chief political correspondent believes that this change in perspective could be attributed to the failure of previous policies. He states, “He (The Upstart) brings a different attitude concerning health care. People find this intoxicating. He enkindles an idea that the people of the house should not merely give in to inertia, but should stand up and change their own destinies. If the dishes get done, this will be a major victory for him.”

Yet, there are those who believe that this is too much too fast. The concept that the dirty dishes can be cleaned directly following the shining of the counter is called “ludicrous” by much of the opposition. A representative from the Established Order relates, “He (the Upstart) thinks that he is going to build Rome in a day. This disposition is juvenile and must not be allowed to continue. If we can beat him on the dishes, it will be his Waterloo. We will crush him.”

"There is hard work left to," the Upstart declares.

Many experts believe that the Upstart will not meet his ambitious deadline of “getting the dishes and the hard work of reform done.” The Upstart states, “I want this completed by the waning of the sun this day. The Blue House cannot survive delay. Our very existence as a people is at stake.” Whether cleaning the dishes by the sink will impact health care in the house significantly remains to be seen. Plans such as this have been adopted before. Two weeks ago, the floor was comprehensively mopped, yet the cost of health coverage was not much affected. Jeff L. Horner, a senior contributor to The Blue House Lives, says, “We knew the floor would become dirtied once more. The insurers knew it too. That’s why change did not hit our shores.”

Whether the Upstart can get the votes to clean the dishes is a question whose answer may be blowing in the wind, but his cabinet remains confident that true change is a gust that cannot be halted. The Blue House Lives will continue to probe deeper into the political drama as it unfolds.

Tags: change, health care, reform, Upstart

This entry was posted on Friday, July 24th, 2009 at 1:25 pm and is filed under House News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.