If one remembers, The Blue House Lives reported two days ago about seven Coors Lights remaining untouched in the fridge. Today, however, it was learned that what was once thought “untouchable” has proven to be very touchable. A fledgling investigation has just discovered that only three Coors Lights remain. Officials report that while the loss of four seems like a large loss, they admit that they have now accounted for three of the beers. Yet, the alluring question still remains: What happened to the other silver bullet?

There are only three silver bullets left, but one missing beer has experts stumped.

Officials freely admit that they don’t exactly know what happened to the other beer. The Blue House Lives chief kitchen correspondent tells us that while they believe the solution will be innocent enough, they have not ruled out foul play. Jeff L. Horner, who confesses to drinking the first three missing beers, is at a loss of words regarding the other. When The Blue House Lives confronted him and asked for his reaction to all this, he muttered, “The horror…the horror.”

While many in the law enforcement community refuse to point fingers, there is a growing belief among insiders that the breezy haven known as the Porch might have a role in this disaster. The top investigator in these proceedings, who wished to remain anonymous for security reasons, admitted, “We’ve seen many beers disappear and found their remains out there (the Porch). We are not ruling out anything, though. But I bet you what, we’ll find the beer. There’s not a doubt in my mind.”

Blockage may not be a motive after all, experts say.

The Porch, as of this moment, is beehive of activity as investigators searching for any clue imaginable. B.L. Caldwell, who seems to have no connections to the events described, stated early this morning, “Don’t look at me. Let slumbering beasts lie.” He then proceeded to roll over and blow halitosis into the faces of reporters. He then reminded, “Everyone has bad breath in the morning. Especially me.”

Investigators have related that they do not suspect anyone at the moment. They went on to state that this thought goes double for Mr. Caldwell. Yet, as regard to motive, if foul play is discovered, experts warn it may not be refrigerator blockage as originally thought. Our chief kitchen correspondent told us earlier, “They believe it could be simple thirst. There is some salsa and some cheese dip in there (the Kitchen), so someone may have cracked one open to calm the heat in his/her mouth.” As the investigation continues, The Blue House Lives will bring you any important breaks and updates.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm and is filed under House News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.