This week, what was known by many but acknowledged by none came to pass. Lionelle, the self-proclaimed queen of the Blue House, offically declared war on Ninja, the immigrant from Jackson Avenue. Initial reports indicate that it has started quietly as a war of attrition, but experts warn that it may soon become an all out kitty crusade.

Ninja keeps vigil and awaits his rival.

The terms of war became official when Lionelle faced Ninja cat-to-cat in the kitchen on Friday and proclaimed hostility with a burning hiss and a vociferous groan. The chief Blue House meow translator described Lionelle’s statement, “Those were words so harsh and stabbing they should never be committed to print.” The Blue House Lives was eventually able to coerce the actual words from the translator, but once heard, we agree that they are far too inconceivable to publish. It is suffice to say that war was declared in the strictest terms possible.

What will occur now is the big question on the lips of all feline politicians and nations. Will Lionelle be able to obliterate Ninja from existence or will Ninja be able to wangle some more living space and banish the queen to an East Wing exile?

The question of overarching motive is also on the tongues of experts. Michael C. Fox, II seems to be the only one with a concise theory as to the root of the hostility. He explained, “Ninja has been poopin’ in Lionelle’s litter box. She don’t like it at all. Get ‘em, Lionelle!” It is well known that Fox is a Lionelle sympathizer and fully supports her claim as the queen. When approached with Fox’s account, Duncan Harryman exclaimed, “There’s no way in hell that Ninja pooped in there.” The Blue House Lives does not have any concrete evidence of Ninja defecating in Lionelle’s sand box, but the fact remains: Lionelle has reached a precipice and feels that Ninja is to blame.

As of yet, the warring parties have remained in that docile state before the real hostility erupts. Ninja was spotted early Saturday staring out at the horizon in obvious anticipation of Lionelle’s advance. As of now, there are no whiskers on that horizon, but Ninja was quoted as saying, “Meow, meow, meow.” Bloodshed seems unavoidable. Lionelle has been unavailable for comment since her initial declaration, but experts warn that she may be in hiding and planning her moves carefully. She has reportedly erected a headquarters and staked away inside of an old Pontiac. Ninja has openly declared that he will not charge the car, but when Lionelle makes a move, he will be ready to defend.

For now, the war will apparently rage on without interference. The Blue House Lives has learned from an anonymous source that both cats are converging upon a piece of ground known as Study Window. As this story develops, The Blue House Lives will be there with all the earth-shattering details.

Tags: duncan, kitty conflict, lionelle, michael, ninja, study window

This entry was posted on Monday, July 20th, 2009 at 11:18 am and is filed under House News, Kitty Konflict. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.